I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
