so that wasnt chicken after all
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
