Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
