I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Never joke about your clitoris.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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