I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
