just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
