Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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