Already got asked if we're dating
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
