apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it hurts more in the daytime
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
