At least make sure they are 18
Why
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Randomize
