Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry wittykitie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'

Fav 1 1383 817
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.

Fav 51 9093 1223
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.

Fav 6 2286 896
share tweet
(925): View more from California

you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed

Fav 11 1269 1975
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

Fav 4 991 813
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.

Fav 3 2044 708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

Fav 5 1204 910
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.

(512): View more from Texas

Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"

Fav 0 289 152
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones

Fav 0 52 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT