And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
