what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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