walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
