i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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