Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
