i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
