conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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