Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have post one night stand depression
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