There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
