We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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