I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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