If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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