Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
