There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
