Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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