Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
