I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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