But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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