So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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