If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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