I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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