We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
