Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's always time for handjobs
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
