I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dick very happy bro
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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