To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
