I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
worst night to have a conscience
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
