your parents love me but you hate me
I want to have your abortion
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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