I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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