I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
