have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
