i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
