Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
