the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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