I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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