Little spoons don't ask big questions
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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