Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
