gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
