If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
