May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
